Not too long ago I wrote a post on my experience of being an academic, how this in many ways privileged position influences my personal self and way of life. I had several reactions to this post, both positive and negative. But above all I noticed that the personal reflections are more read than the professional. This will however not change my purpose of this blog, since it has a focus on the professional subjects and thoughts I struggle with in my head.
But the struggle is of course not exclusive to the professional sphere. Sometimes it can be of help for me, as well as evidently interesting for readers, to write/read more about the private sphere. And as I explained in the earlier mentioned post, to me the professional and private goes very much hand in hand. But for once I will focus only on the latter.
I would like to think that I am a simple man. A man of needs and passion. A man of faults and good. A lot of people though see me rather one-dimensional, either good or bad. I guess this is the way we observe and categorize people not really known to us. I often discuss this aspect of construction of the surrounding world with students in class; how we as human beings are schematically categorizing, stereotyping and make divisions of people around us. And the grade of truth in our perceptions of other is not really important, rather it is a matter of distance between how we see ourselves and how others perceive us.
I tend to believe that those who know me, know me very well. Those who don’t seem to talk about me as if they know me, but their perception is far from how I see myself. Probably my own fault.
In any case, this is me. A small part of me.
– I totally adore creativity and love my job, including lecturing.
– Being rather tall in combination with confidence in the classroom, I think I can be perceived as arrogant. But I just try to be confident. Otherwise few would listen.
– I spend most of my free-time writing or reading. This is what I do. If not I run. And swim.
– Through persistence (and curiosity) I have learned a few languages. Also to write for and play musical instruments.
– I often forget my own birthday.
– I have a family that loves me for who I am. Once I had my own family. I failed them in keepin it together.
– I have chosen a life without too many real friends. The ones I have I try to be good to and help. Because they help me.
– I don’t have many regrets in my life. But the ones I have really hurt.
– I believe kindness is the best way to be a good person. I try to be kind.
– I have faith in myself. Managing life.
– My daughter is everything to me. I cannot find words for the humanity, strength, love and kindness she personifies.
– Those who know me also know that there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her.
– The only thing that bothers me is that she’s disappointed that there are no fairytale images in the type of books/articles I write.
– But I still love her.
She makes me want to be a better person. A better father. And I know she wishes me to be happy in every aspect of life. I know she is happy and safe and really enjoys the best of life. One day she will be aware of the impact she has on my well-being. Perhaps she is the only person who perceives me in the exact same way I try to see myself. That makes us one. In our own special little way.
And since you are learning english at school..
You are always present in my life. Even when you are far away. And I hope you feel the same way about me. I learn from you and worship your existence. To me, you are the most valuable thing to protect and love, and I would easily give up everything around me to ensure you feel that every day of your life.
Back to reality.